Naked (Warning…this may make some people squirm a little. It’s not graphic, just not a common topic.)

There should be a law that allows all pregnant women to walk around naked. I have found that clothes are the enemy. NOTHING feels right. I’m not talking about the feeling you get when you’ve gained some weight and you feel uncomfortable, I’m talking about the feeling you get when you’re really irritated and it takes everything in you not to curse. (Admit it, you all know what I’m talking about. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you.)
The minute I found out I was pregnant I thought to myself “Thank God, I can’t stand to wear my regular jeans another day”. Then the minute I found out there were twins I was practically rejoicing. I could not understand why I was getting so big (everywhere) so fast. What a relief! I had been in maternity pants since 6 weeks along and grown out of every undergarment I own.

God bless maternity stores for their attempt to make our lives as pregnant women a little more comfortable and stylish, but I’m looking for something bigger, much more global. Women in Africa have it down…they don’t wear anything. We need government intervention. Maybe someday, when we have a woman President we can unite as women and propose that a law is passed for all pregnant women. Indecent exposure would not apply to us. We could even allot a space for nursing women and partial nudity. Since when is it fair that we must seclude ourselves from the rest of the world while we sustain the future generation with our milk.

I can understand how this would make so many people uncomfortable, so here’s my solution. Ship us off to a tropical island until we deliver. Maternity leave intact, for those of us who work, and our jobs secure when we get back. It’s only nine months. Not only would that save society from having to view naked pregnant ladies, it would save them from mood swings, unpredictable vomiting episodes, and having to go out of their way to help us lift heavy objects. PLUS, anyone who would loose their job in the maternity fashion industry would have first dibs on a job at our tropical island resort.

This is the point in the blog that I realize I’ve gone too far (I’m gonna blame it on the hormones). So with all of this said, I guess I could just settle for being allowed to wear sweat pants, baggy shirts and sports bras in any social environment until the day I give birth. If I have to settle…